The best and hardest year of my life...

Tomorrow morning I start back at work, after a full year of maternity leave.

I don't know if I want to cry or jump for joy. Probably both.

But right now, all I feel like doing is crying.

This year has been by far the most challenging year of my life, but it has also been the best year of my life. And I can't believe it's over. 

This time together.... at first it felt endless. It felt suffocating and impossible. But slowly, very slowly, things got better. And then things got fun. Really fun. And now I would give anything to have just a bit more time.

I'm pretty proud of us. I can't believe how far we've come. It was only a year ago that you and I were one, and you lived and breathed through my body. And now I see you as the little individual that you are. But you still feel as though you are a part of me... like physically a part of me, that somehow broke off and continued on living. And sometimes I actually ache for you, and I don't know if I can stand to spend my days apart.

But I know we will get through this transition... just like we got through all the other challenges that faced us this year. We will adapt. And we will learn to cherish our time together even more.